At The Reasons Why Foundation, we work with people who have been through the criminal justice system, and one thing we hear time and again is, “I don’t know why I keep making the same mistakes.” Sometimes, it feels like no matter how much you want to change, something keeps pulling you back into old patterns.
The truth is, many of the choices we make in the present are shaped by experiences from our past, especially if we’ve lived through trauma. Whether it’s childhood neglect, abuse, violence, or the instability of life in care or prison, trauma leaves a deep imprint on how we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us. The good news? Once we start to understand how trauma influences our decisions, we can begin to take back control.
The Invisible Influence of Trauma
Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories, it lives in our bodies and minds, shaping the way we react to stress, relationships, and opportunities. When someone has been exposed to repeated harm, their brain adapts to survive in that environment. This often means:
- Always being on guard – expecting threats, even when none are there.
- Reacting impulsively – responding to situations with fight, flight, or freeze before having time to think.
- Struggling to trust – finding it hard to believe in other people’s intentions, or even in your own ability to change.
- Feeling ‘stuck’ in the past – repeating patterns that feel familiar, even if they’re harmful.
For many ex-offenders, these patterns play out in everyday life. Maybe anger flares up too quickly, leading to conflict. Maybe there’s a deep fear of rejection, causing you to push people away before they get too close. Maybe the idea of planning for the future feels overwhelming, so you keep falling back into old habits just to get through today.
Breaking the Cycle
Recognising the link between past trauma and present choices is the first step towards breaking free from its grip. The next step is learning how to create space between a trigger and a reaction, between impulse and action.
This is where mentoring comes in. At The Reasons Why Foundation, we don’t just focus on the behaviour, we look at the reasons behind it. When you have someone to talk to who understands trauma and its impact, you can start untangling the connections between past experiences and current struggles. Together, we explore healthier ways to manage emotions, build trust, and make decisions that move you towards the life you want.
Healing from trauma doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means recognising that, while it has shaped you, it doesn’t have to define you. Every choice you make now is an opportunity to step towards something different. With the right support, change isn’t just possible, it’s within reach.
If you or someone you know could benefit from trauma-informed mentoring, get in touch with us at www.therwf.org or email info@therwf.org.